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How to Live Faith with the Five Love Languages


The five love languages can help us grow our relationship with our spouse and our faith in God.

In his New York Times Best Seller, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, Dr. Gary Chapman explains the five ways people give and receive love — acts of service, physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts and words of affirmation. His book has helped couples, primarily Christian marriages, understand the importance of showing love the best way their partner receives it.

While this book is primarily written to help couples, it also can serve as a guide on how to live your faith and build a relationship with God. Read on to learn how you can live your faith inspired by the five love languages.

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Acts of Service

Actions speak louder than words for those whose love language is acts of service. In relationships, this love language is about doing things that make life easier for your partner, such as cooking dinner, planning a date or running errands.

Christ was a living example that we are meant to live our lives in service to others. He encouraged us to feed the hungry, take care of the sick, visit the imprisoned and more. Because Christ is in all of us, we are taking care of Him when we care for others (Matthew 25:35-40).

Volunteering is a way you can live Christ’s example. Here are a few ideas for ways you can volunteer and help others.

  • Join a ministry in your church
  • Donate hygiene kits to a local organization that helps the homeless
  • Grow fruits, vegetables and herbs in a community garden to help your neighbors
  • Work with Habitat for Humanity to build a home for a family in need
  • Serve food at a local soup kitchen

Physical Touch

Those whose love language is physical touch feel connected while holding hands, hugging and casual touch in conversation. Couples with this love language enjoy massages, dance classes and playing sports together.

Christ gave His life so we may eternal life in Heaven. When we have communion, we honor this sacrifice as the bread and wine become the body and blood of Jesus. He said, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst.” (John 6:35).

Here are some healthy and safe ways to physically express your faith.

  • Take communion at your church when offered (every week for Catholics)
  • Become a eucharistic minister
  • Use prayer beads, rosary or Bible when praying to God
  • Pray with your body with these suggestions from Franciscan Media

Quality Time

Quality time is a love language of those who enjoy spending time together with their spouse. Some date ideas for quality time include long walks on the beach, taking a cooking class and weekend road trips.

Spending time with God is how we can better understand Him and build a closer relationship. In James 4:8 it says, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”

A few ways you can spend time with God include:

  • Attending Mass or church service
  • Spending time in Eucharistic Adoration
  • Joining a Bible study group
  • Praying by yourself or joining a prayer group
  • Attending a spiritual retreat

Receiving Gifts

People who enjoy receiving gifts as a love language are not materialistic. Rather, they enjoy gifts that are sentimental and symbolic of something they enjoy or memory shared together. Some examples of this love language are concert tickets for a favorite artist, a photo collage of memories shared together or a playlist of their favorite songs.

Before we were born, God gave us gifts he wanted us to share with the world. In Romans 12:6 it says, “Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us exercise them…”

In addition to sharing the gifts God has given us, you can also:

  • Tithe to your church
  • Make a donation to a cause that supports the community
  • Volunteer your gifts through a church ministry
  • Buy Christmas gifts for families in need

Words of Affirmation

Poems and words of encouragement are enjoyed by those whose love language is words of affirmation. Favorite date ideas include karaoke, a love note scavenger hunt and writing love poems to each other.

God’s love for us is expressed in the Bible. It says, “Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love. In this way the love of God was revealed to us: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might have life through him. In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as expiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also must love one another.” (1 John 4: 8-11)

Here are some ways you can grow your faith with words of affirmation.

  • Pray to God and thank Him for your blessings
  • Practice gratitude
  • Read affirmations that encourage your faith
  • Go to confession

Because God is love, we are always more connected to him when we express it. The five love languages inspire us to show love not only to God, but also our brothers and sisters in faith.

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